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Thursday, 21 January 2010

American Psycho 2: The Return of Urban Serial Killer Chic


By Joe Nockles

The sales are almost over and the new lines are in. This season is quite possibly the best for years. Everyone's back on form. Westwood has evolved. Burberry's gone bondage (albiet in a charming beige Burberry way). If you squint your eyes as you walk down Regent Street, you might be lucky enough to block out Desiguel. Interestingly, some of the standout pieces, and a few standards, create the perfect outfit for the 21st Century's Patrick Bateman. Let me explain...

As if in slow motion, a cigarette stub tumbles to the ground crashing into every particle of terror hanging in the air causing it to rotate like the buds of a Sycamore. Landing in a flourish of embers, its brief life is brutally and unapologetically brought to an end by the steel segg of a pair of Jeffery West Rochester Rafael’s. The right one. The signature 1½” heel of his blood-splattered left is still wedged firmly on his victims neck, squeezing out the last few gasps of air.

The last thing the poor helpless sap sees is the impeccably tailored leg of his assailant’s Paul Smith London Willoughby suit. As if a magnifying glass replaces his eyes’ dying lenses, his vision erodes until all that's left burnt into his retina is the crisp detail of the fine woven navy wool.

Smirking, the sartorial sociopath replaces the 6½” handmade Tanaka Nakiri cleaver onto its customised loop underneath his jet black, waxed cotton one-off Burberry poncho, which he wears primarily to aid his disappearance into the shadows, but also conveniently protects his Paul Smith Jacket, Vivienne Westwood Krall neck shirt and burgundy Ozwald Boateng tie from the torrades of human blood that emanate from the casual, vigorous lacerations of his unsuspecting, undeserving victims.

He glares through the lenses of his black Tom Ford R92’s with satisfaction. Now he's finally ready to attend the Leeman Brothers’ shareholder meeting he’s been putting off.

THIS IS NOT AN EXIT

Boots: Jeffery West
Suit: Paul Smith London
Cleaver: Tanaka Nakiri
Poncho: Burberry - In store; 21-23 New Bond Street
Shirt: Vivienne Westwood
Tie: Ozwald Boateng - In Store; 30 Savile Row
Glasses: Tom Ford

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